Apply Below!
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Apply Below! 〰️
Office of Admissions
The Office of Admissions at Pearl-Schett University prides itself on its unconventional approach to enrollment. We believe in embracing diversity, creativity, and potential—often in ways that challenge traditional academic norms. Below are key statistics that reflect our institution's unique character and appeal:
Admissions Overview (Current Academic Year)
Total Applications Received: 42,069
Acceptance Rate: 72.4%
Yield Rate: 91.6% (Because who wouldn’t want to enroll?)
Deferred Applications: 8% (Because decisions are hard to make on an empty stomach.)
Incoming Class Characteristics:
Average GPA: 3.14 (Because everyone loves Pi.)
Most Common Extracurricular Activity: Procrastinating with style.
Favorite Majors Among Applicants:
Herbal Agriculture (Cannabis Culture)
Procrastinology
Charismatic Communications
Admissions by Academic Interest:
Unapplied Sciences: 15%
Nonlinear Athletics: 12%
Fine Arts (Multimedia Production Focus): 18%
Herbal Agriculture (Cannabis Culture): 14%
Procrastinology: 9% (Technically higher, but most applications arrived after the deadline.)
Charismatic Communications: 11%
Lethargy Studies: 8%
Scamming Methodology: 3% (Applications submitted via a "free gift card" link are automatically forwarded here.)
Demographic Breakdown:
Students with Completely Unrelated Majors: 22%
Transfer Students from Other Fictional Institutions: 12%
First-Generation College Students: 47%
Students Who Applied on a Dare: 6%
Applications Written Entirely in Emoji: 4%
Admissions Based on Rock-Paper-Scissors Tournaments: 1.2%
Innovative Application Methods:
Submission via TikTok Duet: 11%
Handwritten Applications on Napkins: 2%
Applications Delivered by Carrier Pigeon: 0.4%
Personalized Memes: 7% (Bonus points for originality.)
Fun Admissions Facts:
Most Creative Application: A 7-minute interpretive dance to explain why the applicant was "destined for greatness."
Longest Application Essay: 12,000 words exploring the philosophical implications of pineapple on pizza.
Shortest Essay: "Why not?"
These statistics are a testament to the innovative spirit and diverse community fostered by Pearl-Schett University, where we see potential in every application—and every procrastinated essay draft.
You’ll LOVE it here!
Apply today and become a statistic.
